Bending over backwards

Its been quite some time since I posted. But to recap:

- I graduated from college. It was a lot of fun and really really strange. I'm not sure if its really hit me yet exactly what that means. But my plans are to return to ACU for graduate school. I'm pumped.My aunt came to graduation and we truly had a blast. I had a lot of fun showing her and my parents around Abilene.
- I've been at home for about 2 weeks and I'm not going to lie, they haven't been enjoyable. Its hard to explain and pretty complicated but I can tell you that its not even June and i'm already ready for the summer to be over. I feel like a fool because I got offered a great job and turned it down.
- I did get to go to New Orleans this weekend and it was wonderful. I really do love it and miss it. I'm glad I got to go, I'm going to try and spend as much time as possible there this summer.
-As much as I love New Orleans, I have to confess I wonder if there will ever be a trip when don't cry a little bit. I drove through a neighborhood where I went to grade school and bawled my eyes out yesterday. The damage there was so bad and while there's a house here and there thats restored with a well manicured lawn, most houses were completely empty, gutted out messes. Complete with a spray painted X, blown out windows, and an overgrown lawn. How long are we going to have to live with that? I drove my old abandoned school and then passed a coffee shop I used to frequent in high school that is now nothing but studs and I couldn't help but think ofthe way things used to be. I know nostalgia is hardly acurate but I'm not unrealistic. Life in New Orleans has never been perfect, there's always been fat mosquitos, too much crime, potholes that could very well swallow your car, and unpleasant odors in the french quarter.But at least there was life there, albeit flawed. I can't stand to see it like this. I'm such a wimp.
- I was freakishly addicted to Flavor of Love and was really glad that Thing II won. I think this makes me really really pathetic.
- I am halfway done knitting my purse, I think it might be excellent.
- I feel like God is giving me wisdom and I am thankful, but sometimes knoiwing the truth about something doens't make it any better or easier and I hate that. I don't know if that makes any sense at all but this is me talking...
-The secret at the the top says "I feel out of place." This is perfectly descriptive of my feelings this summer so far. It makes me feel a little lonely and loneliness might be the worst feeling in the world.