Wednesday, November 19, 2008

What I know for sure...

There is a column in a popular women's magazine called "What I know for sure..." Different famous people share their deepest wisdom at least for moment and I have always enjoyed reading what they all have to say.
I was reading a book a few days ago called 1 dead in attic, a collection of columns written by Chris Rose after Katrina. Reading it brought back that heavy feeling and started to cry and when I couldn't stop I gave it to my roomate and told her to keep it away from me for a while. That night I couldn't sleep and I started thinking about what I know for sure. It isn't much of a list and I'm not really that wise of a person, but somehow writing it out made it mean a little more. Perhaps writing it out makes it more real. Anyways here it is...

1. Sometimes I think that the heavy feeling I have will always be there. But I know for sure, that even if it is, every day I have a choice to live in hope rather than that sadness.
2. When you don't know what to do, be still. The answer will come to you. And if in the end you are still doubting- you have your answer...
3. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. I know lots of my theological friends are shuddering at this thought, however, I do think that thanksgiving reflects humility, and gentleness and our ability to recognize that God is indeed in control and that he is good.
4. This too shall pass... thank God...
5. Being at peace is not ceasing to feel emotion about a situation, for there are somethings that will always be sad, or infuriating, or heart breaking. It is instead the knowledge that we are not alone in our sadness, or anger or heartbreak, God is with us and he is hurting with us too.
6. For some questions, there are no answers, just grace.
7. The same questions follow every girl to womanhood: Am I good enough? Will they like me? Do I look fat in this? Can they all tell I'm on my period? :) But seriously, I spent all of my life until recently convinced that other girls (the prettier ones) had it so much easier than me, because I had to worry about how I looked so much more than they did because I was so much uglier than them... This is however, inherently untrue. Girls and women everywhere all have insecurities and how dare I write them off as insignificant or shallow. Their concerns are no less important than mine, and as it would seem mine are just as irrational as theirs seem to be.
8. Talk slowly, think quickly. Apologize when you do the opposite. And don't chew with your mouth open, it just isn't becoming.
9. Love, from family to friends to boyfriends, feels really good. It does not go upside your head, say hateful things, and make you believe that you will never be good enough. Instead, Love is always patient and kind. It does not envy or boast, it isn't proud. It is never rude or selfish and it does not take offense. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always endures whatever comes. Love never fails.
10. That I don't know much for sure, and even whats on this list might change. I am young and life is long and I am here to consider it all. And I'm allowed to change my mind. Now that I've thought about this list I have realized that the one thing that I really know for sure is that people and for that matter God, never act in just the way you think they will. And so my list will always remain subject to change until the very end when I think, it won't matter what I know. The only thing that will matter is that I will be with my Father in Heaven, whose love covers me when I don't know anything for sure.

1 comment:

Katelyn said...

Your first semester of graduate school is coming to a close. I hope you have peace and wonderful holiday ... I will really miss running into you in the Psychology Department.

BUT! We will always have the blog!